Things No One Tells You About Being a Widow With Kids

1. No one actually understands unless they have been through widowhood too. It will frustrate you.
2. You will feel as though everything you know has been ripped out from underneath you. Because it was.
3. You will feel cheated by life. Because you were.
4. You will feel lied to by the powers that be and angry at them too. It's normal and I assure you it will not go away for quite some time.
5. The enormity of the responsibility of being a single parent will overwhelm you at times. It's okay to cry. It's also okay to ask for help.
6. People will try to compare their divorce stories to your spouse dying stories. It is not the same. By any means. They may or may not understand that. Love them anyway.
7. When you stop wearing a wedding ring and you're out in public with your children, strangers will look at your finger and they will judge you. Smile and feel no need to explain. Judgement is their problem, not yours.
8. Many people you love will not know what to say to you and may seem like they don't care. Remember that some people cannot put into words how they feel, and they cannot comprehend your pain.
9. You will sometimes hate "happy" families. Remember that the grass is NOT always greener.
10. You will feel guilty when you find things that make you happy. Remember that your loved one would have wanted you to be happy. Carry on!
11. You will see signs that your loved one is with you. Pay attention. Talk to him. He's listening.
12. Your children will have fond memories of their dad. Cultivate them and soak up their smiles as they remember.
13. Your children will be spiritually more stable than you are. Encourage them and listen to their wisdom.
14. You will have rough days. Especially around holidays. It will blindside you. Be prepared.
15. You will find that your physical health directly affects your mental health. Exercise daily and eat healthy foods. You deserve it and your kids deserve a healthy mother.
16. You will not feel worthwhile. The catastrophe of losing your spouse will make you feel as though you are not enough and don't deserve happiness. You ARE enough. You DO deserve happiness.
17. Nothing will ever be the same.
18. You will never stop loving him.
19. People will expect you to go back to your normal life because they get to go back to theirs. It doesn't work that way.
20. Your job is to take care of your children. Make it a priority. Remember you have to be healthy to be the best parent you can be. It's okay to put yourself first sometimes.
21. You will survive.
22. You will forever be changed.

Comments

Popular Posts